Until it happens to you…

When I was young and dumb… I wouldn’t necessarily say dumb but ignorant to many things and a bit naive… I would judge single mothers. I did not understand ANYTHING about the reality of life or relationships or the possible aftermath of one. Who would want to be a single mother? Why would you want that? What did they do for the child’s father to not love them enough or love their child enough? What did they do to make him leave? How could they fall for someone’s BS if that was the case? I now over-stand that a situation can not be fully understood unless it is experienced. Understanding that while women are often harshly judged in those ways that none of them are truth. It is not often that someone wants to be single and raise a child, but sacrifice and do what they must to make the best of a not so great situation. There is NO WAY to control the actions or will of another and that should never be taken on as a weight, responsibility or a reflection.

And then…
It happened to me.

I ran back into my high school crush.
He was older than me and I thought out of my league. (So I thought)
So very handsome and so charming at the highest level.
Which truly showed how I did not value myself enough.

We had always been friends. When I was young we would always converse. He’d stop and visit me and we would talk about any and everything. But interest? Not in me… I was just a kid.

Fast forward to my 30’s… Beautiful and accomplished.
And interested in me he now was.
A single father of twins. He wanted to start his life again.
So interested in fact that we began dating and he confessed his love and intentions of marriage.
So interested that he wanted to have a child together to consummate our relationship.
In LOVE I was and I relinquished control and let him lead. I was submissive and allowed the interactions of procreation.

And then…

It hit the fan.
He introduced me to a daughter he had not told me about. My shocked and surprised reaction that I could not quite control later caused anger, name calling, and silent treatment.
And this became the norm. Anger, name calling, abandonment.

I later found out of a girl he was also messing with. In my confrontation of that I finally found out he was also in fact legally married and had other children.

After the pain and disappointment of this revelation I found out that I was pregnant.

Excuses and explanations… Lies and denial.
He named our son… The meaning… “Joined as in married”… A biblical name.

And the outcome of this situation… I truly learned to grow into what I was meant to be. A strong, beautiful, wise, compassionate, nurturing woman.
I learned not to judge. As I could end up in the same situation I judged others for.
I learned to try to understand with compassion without having to experience.
I learned that love meant sacrifice. I’d sacrificed my old career and life for my new life I now had.
I learned that letting go is blessing the other person to live their life. With you or not.
I learned that life not going how I planned or thought does not mean it is not going how God planned. As God has a plan for everything to work out for good. And his plan is much better than any I could have as his ways and thoughts are higher than my own.
My child, who’s the absolute light of my life, is solely cared for by me. And much sacrifice I make to accomplish that.
My career has skyrocketed and I am working in my purpose.
I began 2 businesses of my own which continuously grow and are a blessing daily.
And he… I set him free with a pure heart to go and do and become what he is destined to. With forgiveness, grace and true agape love. One day as we meet again in life I hope change and growth for him will be apparent.

God works in mysterious ways and each experience in your life brings you closer and closer to your souls purpose. Now, still, I only understand in part. But one day, I am sure, I will fully understand why things had to happen this way.

And to you dear reader, I leave this… no matter what life throws at you. No matter what happens in your life or what you go through. Let it all make you and not break you. As that is what it is truly meant for. Every experience in your life is FOR you. To teach you and grow you.

I learned and gained not only strength mentally and emotionally but now I am no longer naive. I have acquired a great amount of discernment. I no longer wish for a person to fill a role in my life and be my all, but trust God to have that position of power and feel fulfilled within myself. I now enjoy my family and true friends and time spent with them rather than constantly searching to be fulfilled. Healthy and whole, I am stable in many ways and have finally gained a level of peace that I have never had.

The plan one has for them self and the plan God has for them and the process he brings them through to grow them may look NOTHING alike. And that is OK. It is best to accept Gods plan and work with that and not your own. God says in Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” It is important to understand that there is no shame or condemnation in what one experiences in life. Everything one experiences makes them who they are. Let all things make you better and not bitter. For God declares that “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” -Romans 8:28

So no matter what… you go be GREAT!!!!
WHATEVER hand you are dealt… WIN WITH IT!

Holi or Holy-days?

Holidays are often social observances. They are not always religious observances. They are not always to be taken seriously and literally. But sometimes are just merely symbolic. Halloween for example… A day to dress up and have fun and spend with friends and family. Where the issue with that is I have no idea. As family and relationships are very important to God. Spending time enjoying a themed day with family and friends is the same as having any type of themed party. Birthday, luau, 4th of July. If it is a crime for a Christian to dress up for Halloween and for children to collect candy, how may I ask does one pledging allegiance to the flag not come up as an issue? How is a person dressing as a mascot not seen as bad or wrong? How are the masks people wear on a day to day basis by not being their individual self not a bad thing?

Life is meant to enjoy, build and grow. I’ve heard a saying that one should never be so spiritually minded that they are no earthly good.

Being a model and actress I’m used to dressing up. This has been a favorite past time of mine since I was a child. Playing dress up. Outfits or costumes or hair or makeup changes to cater to the event or role. I don’t see the difference at all in doing this for a day and collecting candy.
The scripture says “As for me and my house we will serve the Lord”. And personally in my house, that is what we do. We honor, worship, and pursue God our creator and attempt to live a holy and righteous life with Jesus as our example of perfection. Although we can never reach perfection. It is not possible. Yet we are given grace. Enjoying life and actually living I think in no way takes anything away from our professed Christianity.

3 John 1:11 says “Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God.” If a person were actually doing evil and wearing a costume then yes, that would be a problem.
1 Thessalonians 5:22 says to “Reject any kind of evil.” I would personally say the demonization of something enjoyed with purity is the real evil.

Matthew 18:3 states that “…Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
Children are innocent. Children are pure. Children play and have fun. Children trust. Children believe in good and only good. God is loving. God is trustworthy. Gods word is truth. God is the highest authority.

So to believe in bad and demonize play and make believe. Hmmm… you tell me what you think about that?

My idea of Christianity is not that of Dogma. But that of RELATIONSHIP. Each person is a temple and dwelling of the Holy Spirit. Each person has a connection to their Father, God. Each person has the right to live a righteous life without being so caught up in others ideas. Gods premise, as i understand, is to obey him. Not others.

So LIVE and think for yourself with the guidance you receive from God. And… Go be GREAT!

E-GO GO GO GO GO AWAY!

One of the most amazing things as a human that we possess is our mind. Oh the mind… what beauty, what a complete and absolute utter mystery that we truly still do not collectively understand. Our mind has such power. The power to create, the power to manifest, the power to believe, bring thoughts (good or bad) and the power to hold you captive. What???? You may say. Yes… it’s true. The mind is truly powerful. It can create limits within you. But the AMAZING thing is it can also set you FREE.

Let me explain.

First… what is it that you believe in? Fear or LOVE?
We will determine this by answering a few questions.

Do you believe in all the ideas that come to your mind? Do you believe in the chatter? Do you believe in the negative ones? Do you believe in things like you’re not good enough or someone is better or that there is any type of competition between people or that you can’t do something or that you’re fat or ugly or poor or stupid or any of these negative beliefs many hold of themself?

Well dear one… that’s the crazy EGO talking to you and you believe in fear. I’ve mentioned many times before that fear is not real. So… why do you believe these things?

You as a human… you are LOVE. There is no separation of the two. You may just not remember. Which is why you should wake up.
You have immense value. Just simply because you exist. Never forget that.
God is LOVE. And his dwelling place is within. Within what? Within you!

So how do you reconnect? Through much inner work. And you actually have to DO the work. There are no short cuts. But that is the reason you are here on Earth. So use your time wisely.
LOVE truly is all that is and all that ever will be.

Take some time and observe the thoughts that come to your mind and what and even why you believe because of them.

One of my most favorite quotes by Bob Marley states that one should “Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds.”

Oh indeed how true.
But the GREAT thing is this… YOU have the power to do whatever you choose.

So… GO BE GREAT!!!

The Goddess Queens Temple

The dictionary defines a temple as “a building devoted to the worship, or regarded as the dwelling place, of a god or gods or other objects of religious reverence.” Do you know that is what your body is? Do you know that is what you are? Not only was Jesus’s perfect life traded to give you life, but as a Christian the Holy Spirit dwells inside of you. Do you go into church acting crazy and disrespectful and wylin out and treating it any kind of way? No? Why? Because you respect Gods house I am assuming?

So why do you treat your body differently than you would treat something to be revered, honored and respected as Gods house? Why would you ever let any old man have sex with you and connect with your essence and life canal? Do you not know that your body is YOUR temple? Do you know that that temple too belongs to God?

Wombman… Wake up! Please! You are divine!

Read Ephesians 5 and see how God says a man should treat his wife. Specifically verses 25 on, but read the whole thing.

Now think about what you read for awhile and think about if you truly understand these things.

A woman’s body is sacred!
A woman, and her body should be honored and treasured as it is the source of life!
A woman’s mind holds the key to enlightenment!

So tell me girls and young women… Why do you not treat, respect, honor and revert yourself as such?

You should NEVER be ashamed of your body or sexuality. You should be very selective of who you share it with. (I.E. Your husband)

Your womb is sacred! A wombman takes in the essence of a man. His mental state, mannerisms, past partners. All of those things become part of you. You should NEVER let an unqualified man inside. A qualified man honors that and you! KNOW how special you as a woman are and KNOW how special a man that sees that is to you!

Every male does not deserve a Queen! And every male does not deserve access to a Queens temple!

Which is why God created sex for marriage. Covenant sex is an act of worship. Marriage is a ministry. Not a business deal or a convenience. Although it could be as well, but not foremost. A man commits to a woman to LOVE her as Christ did the church. He gives of himself in exchange for her doing the same.

Don’t let any male ever give you any less! They must be worthy!

LOVE yourself Goddess Queen! You are a masterpiece!
Go be GREAT!!!

Whoooooo arrrrrre youuuuuuuu?

If you have ever seen the movie “Alice in Wonderland”, you may remember the scene where the caterpillar asked Alice who she was. And her reply was that she did not exactly know as she had changed so much since morning.

This amuses me because I absolutely understand her plight.

Do you know who you are?

What is important to you? Where do you find your truth? What is your identity?

Many people find it in many different places or even in different things.
What exactly defines you?

Does status define you?
Your career, job, achievements, awards? Public recognition?

Are you defined by a cause you are committed to?
Recycling, gay rights, anti-abortion, service to others?

Not quite… ok.

How about power?
Your position, wealth, relationships?

Or possibly your possessions?
Your house you live in, the car you drive, the clothes you wear, your neighborhood?

Does who you have access to define you?
Your friendships with the wealthy business owners, athletes, or entertainers?

Does your symbolic capital define you?
Your number of Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram followers?

The pursuit or enjoyment of these things is not a bad thing at all. But… if you lost them. What else would you lose? Would you lose yourself?

So I will once again pose my question… Who are you?

My personal story…
I’ve had status. Several great careers, jobs, experience, achievements, awards and public recognition.
I’ve been for several causes… I have a huge heart for people and especially children, saving the planet, rights for all, pro-life, serving those less fortunate.
I’ve had power… high influential positions, wealth, relationships.
I’ve had possessions… Beautiful dream condo, nice house, nice cars, nice clothes, lived in wealthy neighborhoods.
I’ve had access to great people with achievements and wealth and talent and influence.
I’ve had symbolic capital with influence.

Some things I was able to sustain, some things I lost. And in the end do you know what?
While being grateful for the experiences, none of that truly made me happy.

So who am I?
I would say that I am first a child of God. I am the belief in my truth.

I am not my personal agendas or possessions.
The void in my heart was only filled when I learned of God and what he did for me and what his son did and I followed my personal journey to cultivate a relationship with him.

What I hold most dear are my personal relationships. So I would say that I am… a mother, a daughter, a sister, a cousin, an auntie, a friend.
I can be labeled as many things.
But truly, simply… I AM my heart. That is my best answer.

THE REASON FOR THE SEASON

image

Normally the voice we grow with in our head is from our parents or parental figures. If these people were loving and nurturing you have a kind loving voice that guides you as you grow. But let’s say these people were negative. Or toxic even. They were critical or judgmental or unkind. They undermined you or made you feel bad about yourself or as though you were not enough or worthless. That is the voice you grow with.

A person that grew with the loving voice, they are more predisposed to also be a loving person. Now a person that grew with the negative voice, they are more predisposed to be negative and hurtful not only to themselves, but also to others. This often leads to people being hateful or heartless, people getting in trouble all the time- either fighting or with the law also, and even leads to mental and emotional health issues and disorders.

But it does not have to be that way at all.

There is a man who is almighty and the King of Kings. He is our Heavenly Father. And he LOVEs you. Unconditionally. He wants to have a relationship with you and make you to feel peaceful, loved, supported, understood, appreciated and accepted. No matter what you have dealt with in your life. He wants you to know your worth and who you really are in him. To know whose you are. A relationship with him will renew your mind and clear away the bad and replace it with good.

He sent his only son here to die for you so that you could become as his son or daughter.

This day is so special because it is the day that we celebrate his son, Jesus Christ. The prince of peace.

If you give God your mind and heart and body and soul, believe in him and confess this, and attempt to live with the character of his son, your life will be changed and turned into the AMAZING life it should be. As his want for you has always been for you to have the GREAT life he planned for you.

I am honored to celebrate my savior on this day!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!!!

Merry CHRISTmas!

CHANGE IS THE NEW BLACK

When I was young I used to hate change!
It would absolutely freak me out!
I wouldn’t know what to expect or how to prepare! I would spend so much time and energy resisting the change and fighting against the current.
Talk about stress!!!

Then after years of things changing I realized… Hmm… There’s a pattern here!
And… It’s actually NOT so bad!

What???

See when I was young I did not understand that to change meant growth. That change and growth meant new beginnings and new opportunities. That new beginnings and new opportunities meant something BETTER was coming into my life!  That there was a current and flow to life and it was much easier to go with it and ride the wave then attempt to fight it.

I’ve told you guys before… THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FEAR!

That feeling you feel when you are scared or anxious is leading you to an experience you need!

Now danger is real! VERY real! But it is not the same type of feeling.

Don’t be afraid of experiences you need and new things!

A oak tree seed did not start out as a 50 foot oak tree! You think it was afraid of heights? Maybe… You think it had to grow ANYWAYS? ABSOLUTELY!

Susan Jeffers has a quote, and a book that states that courageous people feel the fear… And do it ANYWAYS!

Go be GREAT!!!!

LIFE ON LOAN

When you are loaned something, you are meant to do something good with it. You are meant to first appreciate and be grateful for that which you did not have, learn and grow. To be able to multiply what was given. And return what was given.

School loans are given so you can learn and grow and make something better of yourself than what you were. You are expected to apply your knowledge gained and gain an income to pay back what is not yours, but was given to you. To help you!

Now that is just money! You see how people hound you when you do not pay back what you owe. I hear students complain all the time that they owe on their student loans and are getting harassed. Ummmm… Harassed??? YOU OWE THEM!!! They helped you! I am assuming that if you had not taken the loan you would not have been able to attend school if it were not for them!

But no judgement! I’ve had to catch myself in the past for doing it too.

Now with God. Did you know your life is not your own? That you belong to him? That he made the ultimate sacrifice of giving his ONLY son Jesus. Jesus gave his LIFE to pay for yours? He paid for YOUR sins, not his! Which the price for this was death. A perfect and sinless man endured this for you! All because he LOVEs you!

What a heart! Can you imagine having a heart like his? Are you willing to die for someone to pay what they owe? Someone who may or may not even recognize what you did for them? And even after he freely gives YOU the choice to have a relationship with him. And what do you give him back? What could you ever give someone back for something so tremendously selfless? And those words do no justice to describe. I honestly can not think of words that do justice to describe something of this caliber. How can you NOT show gratitude???

And all he asks is for a relationship with you! To spend time with him and celebrate him and follow his will and do things they way he knows are the best for YOU. Not him. Everything he has done and will do is FOR YOU!

Are you living right? Are you abiding by his will? Are you even trying or do you even care?

Think on things that are good. Of character and integrity. Be GREAT!

Jesus died for me… The LEAST I can do is live for him!

Your WHY…

People are rushing and pushing and fighting to be.
But what they are usually doing is attempting to compete with what they believe they should have accomplished by a specific time (age) or point in life. Normally because of what someone else has.

That’s not how things should go.

Your souls mission is to BECOME everything IT was meant to.
Now this is special for each SPECIFIC person.

So let’s say Gods plan for YOU was for you to be a GREAT Writer by let’s say 45.
Thriving across the board- mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially.
And to have reached your GREATest level in your career after 10 years of perfecting your craft.

Now… Don’t you think this process is going to take time and a procedure?
You can’t become GREAT instantaneously!
There is NO shortcut in life!
There is a process on this journey! You can’t rush it!
Honestly you should not want to!

I have personally NEVER seen ANYONE EVER microwave a cake and have a finished product!
It’s NOT possible!
It takes time and a steady heat of at least 300 degrees to bake a proper cake.
You can’t stick an aluminum cake pan of bater in a microwave on high for 3 minutes (please NEVER try this!!!! Aluminum DOES NOT belong in the microwave!!)
Just trust me!
That is not the right process for a cake!

So why are you rushing and pushing and prodding to BE something to compete with Cynthia Jones and her process and time frame in BECOMING.
Are you ready for what you want? Truly ready?
Are you prepared? Truly prepared and have reached the position of thriving across the board to BECOME as you are supposed to?
Once you get what you want… Have you the ability to sustain that? Not just get and have but keep?

Many don’t understand or BELIEVE (Belief and Faith is VERY important) that you can and WILL get what you want out of life!
But when you get it… Have you grown into the person God purposed you to BECOME to have and KEEP it?

STOP RUSHING!!!! Go through the process and experience it all so you do not miss something!

Your BECOMING was PURPOSED to maintain and sustain the life, lifestyle, and victory God has ALREADY given you!

BE GREAT!