The Double H of Heartbreak

When a heart breaks it breaks. And as the famous song lyrics go… “it doesn’t always break even”. And honestly… it’s not always fair. But if it breaks you open that experience of being open can go two different ways. It can keep you where you are or pull you back but on the other hand it can elevate you and launch you forward. Long story short… heartbreak can either hurt you or heal you. In reality… it can and should do both.

The pain you feel from an experience can be used to make one bitter or it can be used to make one better. Being bitter is the easiest thing to do when you allow pain to consume you. It takes no effort to be angry, upset, vengeful, spiteful or paralyzed in some instances. No conscious effort it seems. But the amount of energy you give up to be at a low energy level of negativity and anger is astonishing. The pain of heartbreak can keep you stuck. Wallowing in what was done to you and how it made you feel. Letting it swell and fester. This anger can ripple out. Your pain and anger can go from the person who was the cause to yourself, to those around you, to those you may come into contact with in the future. Some are often left thinking the one who hurt them needs to apologize to fix them. As if you can’t move forward until they correct the disservice. Giving your power away. But what if I told you it doesn’t have to be that way?

You can look at things from a different point of view. From a higher perspective. You can actually heal yourself. If you allow it.

Everything in life that happens to you, everything that you experience… it can be used to learn from and to assist in you growing, learning, and becoming a better you. Let the thoughts of a person or situation hurting you go. Now simply be at peace. Accept what transpired and accept that it hurt. It could have hurt like hell. It could have brought you to your lowest place. It could have taken your dignity, self confidence, your joy. It’s so important to feel your feelings. But after you accept it make 2 promises to yourself. That you will 1… accept that what happened is over. It’s in the past. And promise 2… that you’re no longer going to hold onto it. Surrender to the process. And then simply let it go. That is the place where you have now given yourself the grace to heal and grow.

Heartbreak can hurt you. Any pain can hurt you. Oftentimes it’s unavoidable and uncontrollable by the person who gets hurt. But what you get to decide is how much it hurts and for how long. And the key to leveling up after any pain is to not rush the process. If you break a bone you must wear a caste and a Dr. monitors your progress over a good amount of time until the bone has healed. Then you slowly work with it daily until it is strong enough to resume its former duties. This is the same with healing a broken heart. It will take time and it does take conscious effort. But it is absolutely possible that not only will your heart be stronger but that you will also be stronger as you’ve gained wisdom from allowing yourself to learn, grow and become better from the experience.

May God bless you! And as always… go BE GREAT!

-xoxo Deeny

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