You shouldn’t have to raise a man to be a Man… unless you’re his Mother

I know you’ve seen it. You may have even been this woman before who gave her all to a male whom was not a man only for him to destroy you as a woman.  The “man” that you do everything for, take care of, be there for, encourage, ride for. All while he doesn’t truly appreciate you and often shows how much he doesn’t with confusion, abuse or infidelity.

Let me tell you one thing.  You ARE NOT his Mother! And quite frankly… his Mother did not do her job.

Let me bring this back.

That is NOT a connection for your highest good.

Take your power back! Let go! Gracefully…

Trust that there is better for you and you are soooooo worthy and deserve it!

Then love yourself and allow it to come.

A real Man comes prepared to lead and provide.

You do not have to get a mans life in order.

You do not have to help a man get a job.

You do not have to help a man get his finances together.

You do not have to encourage a man and buy him things.

You do not have to tell him right from wrong and regularly remind him.

Those are things you do for a child.  That’s not even biblical.

In Genesis 1 God started off working.  When he created Adam, Adam had a job. 

Genesis 2:15 “The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.”

It wasn’t until Genesis 2:18 that “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.””

Genesis 2:19-20 Adam is working naming the animals and notices that none of them are suitable as a partner for him.  Only AFTER this does God make EVE for Adam from him.

So let me break this down for you…

God put Adams life in order to start with.

God gave Adam a job and knowledge and wisdom of what he was doing and how it tied to his life, wants and needs.  He knew what was right, wrong, and wasn’t for him.

God knew what he planned for Adam but there was a time of maturation within Adam before God gave him this thing. (His wife)

So Queen… tell me again why you think you’re supposed to ride or die for a grown boy? 

You are NOT his savior! Never can or will be.

A lazy or entitled male who does not wish to grow up is NOT your portion.

A man is to cover, provide for and protect and cherish you. Not vice-versa with you initiating.  This will only cause this male to take you for granted and continue to take and not give as a man was designed to do.

Showing up providing for a woman is masculine instinct.  If he’s not doing this then by default he is showing up with feminine energy. Which leaves the female no other energy and position to hold other than the masculine energy and position that the man should hold.

So while you’re waiting for him to grow and change… that’s all he has to offer.

You do not need to pay for a man or pursue him, initiate contact, buy him things and make all the plans.  This is him receiving. A woman is made to receive.  Do you not see that a woman receives naturally? Her anatomy is set up to where her sexual organs are intrusive.  A man ejaculates out wards.  She receives inwards and creates from that. She carries a child to a 9 month term of maturation and births where she gives back.

Let that sink in and truly over-stand my words.

You are to honor, appreciate and respect leadership.  This is where submission comes naturally.

A male does not just switch roles after this game.  This more than likely plays out with the male deeming the woman who did so much for him as unworthy and if and when he does grow he is repulsed by her and claims she emasculates him and moves to another female who plays a feminine position.  One who would never prepare, groom or provide for him and would not give him the time of day with those childish actions.

A male like this needs help with his self esteem and self worth from a professional and time spent alone and with God.  NOT time spent damaging a woman because she doesn’t truly understand her worth.

A strong woman is BEAUTIFUL and a true man will appreciate her strength as he knows it is a reflection of his strength and care.

A man that leads and provides is worthy to have the benefits of that… in return… assistance (a wife is a help-meet) love, encouragement, gifts, etc. But he will know you as and position you as his WIFE first.

A true relationship is a beautiful dance.  Let it flow.

NEVER settle for less!!

Super Mom-preneur: The Professional Juggler

Being a Mom-preneur has been the hardest and most rewarding experience I have ever had.  My son definitely motivates me and gives me strength to keep going.  The beginning of my journey has not been easy as I am a single Mother.  I’ve always been interested in entrepreneurship and have been preparing to be one for many years.  My goal has always been to have multiple revenue streams in several areas.  Using my gifts and talents and knowledge, sharing those, selling products, and being of service.  I have been blessed to be able to juggle raising my son, growing 2 businesses as well as doing great in my career.

It has been a hard journey.  I am fortunate to have a great support system.  It would not be possible for me to do all that I do without the help from my family.  I’ve doubted if i am doing the right thing sacrificing my time and energy and money now to start and grow my businesses.  I’ve questioned if working in my career and not staying at home with my son is a good thing and the right thing almost daily.  I believe as a Mother you always have doubts of whether you are doing things right or doing the right thing at all.

The struggle I deal with the most is just time.  I often do not feel as though there are enough hours in a day.  I’m up early am to go to my job, i come home and do Mommy things and get my son fed, bathed and in bed.  Then i get to work on my businesses until i finally fall asleep.  And the sleep i get is not much.  My toddler wakes up some nights wanting to play or not feeling well so i have to be a Mom to him until he is ok and then i may get a few hours of sleep before i have to start the next day of the routine.  Its not easy and definitely not for the faint of heart or the selfish. Pre- Mommyhood I knew what tired was but now I often get exhausted. At that point I have to remember to fill my own cup and pamper and care for myself to be able to do what I do which is most often pouring into others.

My businesses are growing and I feel accomplished and supported but most of all i feel like i have someone to share it all with, my son who is the legacy i will leave besides what i plan to leave to him.  It feels great to see my son growing and developing well and my businesses growing too.  Its also nice to have finances growing which will lead to not only financial stability but freedom and peace of mind. With all that it is also humbling to be able to inspire other women whether Mothers or not and also whether single or not to know that it is possible with hard work, determination and tenacity to do absolutely anything they put their mind to. Passion is what gives you not only wings, but a second wind when needed. Knowing your why is key.

Great things take time.  Although you must take baby steps while building you also must seize your days and opportunities.  While juggling so much you have to learn how to not only take care of your family and business but also yourself.  Self care is the most important part of juggling because you can not be empty and pour into anything. Taking action even if small is moving in the right direction. Deciding and doing consistently, small wins, add up over time to be major success.

Until it happens to you…

When I was young and dumb… I wouldn’t necessarily say dumb but ignorant to many things and a bit naive… I would judge single mothers. I did not understand ANYTHING about the reality of life or relationships or the possible aftermath of one. Who would want to be a single mother? Why would you want that? What did they do for the child’s father to not love them enough or love their child enough? What did they do to make him leave? How could they fall for someone’s BS if that was the case? I now over-stand that a situation can not be fully understood unless it is experienced. Understanding that while women are often harshly judged in those ways that none of them are truth. It is not often that someone wants to be single and raise a child, but sacrifice and do what they must to make the best of a not so great situation. There is NO WAY to control the actions or will of another and that should never be taken on as a weight, responsibility or a reflection.

And then…
It happened to me.

I ran back into my high school crush.
He was older than me and I thought out of my league. (So I thought)
So very handsome and so charming at the highest level.
Which truly showed how I did not value myself enough.

We had always been friends. When I was young we would always converse. He’d stop and visit me and we would talk about any and everything. But interest? Not in me… I was just a kid.

Fast forward to my 30’s… Beautiful and accomplished.
And interested in me he now was.
A single father of twins. He wanted to start his life again.
So interested in fact that we began dating and he confessed his love and intentions of marriage.
So interested that he wanted to have a child together to consummate our relationship.
In LOVE I was and I relinquished control and let him lead. I was submissive and allowed the interactions of procreation.

And then…

It hit the fan.
He introduced me to a daughter he had not told me about. My shocked and surprised reaction that I could not quite control later caused anger, name calling, and silent treatment.
And this became the norm. Anger, name calling, abandonment.

I later found out of a girl he was also messing with. In my confrontation of that I finally found out he was also in fact legally married and had other children.

After the pain and disappointment of this revelation I found out that I was pregnant.

Excuses and explanations… Lies and denial.
He named our son… The meaning… “Joined as in married”… A biblical name.

And the outcome of this situation… I truly learned to grow into what I was meant to be. A strong, beautiful, wise, compassionate, nurturing woman.
I learned not to judge. As I could end up in the same situation I judged others for.
I learned to try to understand with compassion without having to experience.
I learned that love meant sacrifice. I’d sacrificed my old career and life for my new life I now had.
I learned that letting go is blessing the other person to live their life. With you or not.
I learned that life not going how I planned or thought does not mean it is not going how God planned. As God has a plan for everything to work out for good. And his plan is much better than any I could have as his ways and thoughts are higher than my own.
My child, who’s the absolute light of my life, is solely cared for by me. And much sacrifice I make to accomplish that.
My career has skyrocketed and I am working in my purpose.
I began 2 businesses of my own which continuously grow and are a blessing daily.
And he… I set him free with a pure heart to go and do and become what he is destined to. With forgiveness, grace and true agape love. One day as we meet again in life I hope change and growth for him will be apparent.

God works in mysterious ways and each experience in your life brings you closer and closer to your souls purpose. Now, still, I only understand in part. But one day, I am sure, I will fully understand why things had to happen this way.

And to you dear reader, I leave this… no matter what life throws at you. No matter what happens in your life or what you go through. Let it all make you and not break you. As that is what it is truly meant for. Every experience in your life is FOR you. To teach you and grow you.

I learned and gained not only strength mentally and emotionally but now I am no longer naive. I have acquired a great amount of discernment. I no longer wish for a person to fill a role in my life and be my all, but trust God to have that position of power and feel fulfilled within myself. I now enjoy my family and true friends and time spent with them rather than constantly searching to be fulfilled. Healthy and whole, I am stable in many ways and have finally gained a level of peace that I have never had.

The plan one has for them self and the plan God has for them and the process he brings them through to grow them may look NOTHING alike. And that is OK. It is best to accept Gods plan and work with that and not your own. God says in Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” It is important to understand that there is no shame or condemnation in what one experiences in life. Everything one experiences makes them who they are. Let all things make you better and not bitter. For God declares that “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” -Romans 8:28

So no matter what… you go be GREAT!!!!
WHATEVER hand you are dealt… WIN WITH IT!

Holi or Holy-days?

Holidays are often social observances. They are not always religious observances. They are not always to be taken seriously and literally. But sometimes are just merely symbolic. Halloween for example… A day to dress up and have fun and spend with friends and family. Where the issue with that is I have no idea. As family and relationships are very important to God. Spending time enjoying a themed day with family and friends is the same as having any type of themed party. Birthday, luau, 4th of July. If it is a crime for a Christian to dress up for Halloween and for children to collect candy, how may I ask does one pledging allegiance to the flag not come up as an issue? How is a person dressing as a mascot not seen as bad or wrong? How are the masks people wear on a day to day basis by not being their individual self not a bad thing?

Life is meant to enjoy, build and grow. I’ve heard a saying that one should never be so spiritually minded that they are no earthly good.

Being a model and actress I’m used to dressing up. This has been a favorite past time of mine since I was a child. Playing dress up. Outfits or costumes or hair or makeup changes to cater to the event or role. I don’t see the difference at all in doing this for a day and collecting candy.
The scripture says “As for me and my house we will serve the Lord”. And personally in my house, that is what we do. We honor, worship, and pursue God our creator and attempt to live a holy and righteous life with Jesus as our example of perfection. Although we can never reach perfection. It is not possible. Yet we are given grace. Enjoying life and actually living I think in no way takes anything away from our professed Christianity.

3 John 1:11 says “Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God.” If a person were actually doing evil and wearing a costume then yes, that would be a problem.
1 Thessalonians 5:22 says to “Reject any kind of evil.” I would personally say the demonization of something enjoyed with purity is the real evil.

Matthew 18:3 states that “…Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
Children are innocent. Children are pure. Children play and have fun. Children trust. Children believe in good and only good. God is loving. God is trustworthy. Gods word is truth. God is the highest authority.

So to believe in bad and demonize play and make believe. Hmmm… you tell me what you think about that?

My idea of Christianity is not that of Dogma. But that of RELATIONSHIP. Each person is a temple and dwelling of the Holy Spirit. Each person has a connection to their Father, God. Each person has the right to live a righteous life without being so caught up in others ideas. Gods premise, as i understand, is to obey him. Not others.

So LIVE and think for yourself with the guidance you receive from God. And… Go be GREAT!


One of the most amazing things as a human that we possess is our mind. Oh the mind… what beauty, what a complete and absolute utter mystery that we truly still do not collectively understand. Our mind has such power. The power to create, the power to manifest, the power to believe, bring thoughts (good or bad) and the power to hold you captive. What???? You may say. Yes… it’s true. The mind is truly powerful. It can create limits within you. But the AMAZING thing is it can also set you FREE.

Let me explain.

First… what is it that you believe in? Fear or LOVE?
We will determine this by answering a few questions.

Do you believe in all the ideas that come to your mind? Do you believe in the chatter? Do you believe in the negative ones? Do you believe in things like you’re not good enough or someone is better or that there is any type of competition between people or that you can’t do something or that you’re fat or ugly or poor or stupid or any of these negative beliefs many hold of themself?

Well dear one… that’s the crazy EGO talking to you and you believe in fear. I’ve mentioned many times before that fear is not real. So… why do you believe these things?

You as a human… you are LOVE. There is no separation of the two. You may just not remember. Which is why you should wake up.
You have immense value. Just simply because you exist. Never forget that.
God is LOVE. And his dwelling place is within. Within what? Within you!

So how do you reconnect? Through much inner work. And you actually have to DO the work. There are no short cuts. But that is the reason you are here on Earth. So use your time wisely.
LOVE truly is all that is and all that ever will be.

Take some time and observe the thoughts that come to your mind and what and even why you believe because of them.

One of my most favorite quotes by Bob Marley states that one should “Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds.”

Oh indeed how true.
But the GREAT thing is this… YOU have the power to do whatever you choose.


The Goddess Queens Temple

The dictionary defines a temple as “a building devoted to the worship, or regarded as the dwelling place, of a god or gods or other objects of religious reverence.” Do you know that is what your body is? Do you know that is what you are? Not only was Jesus’s perfect life traded to give you life, but as a Christian the Holy Spirit dwells inside of you. Do you go into church acting crazy and disrespectful and wylin out and treating it any kind of way? No? Why? Because you respect Gods house I am assuming?

So why do you treat your body differently than you would treat something to be revered, honored and respected as Gods house? Why would you ever let any old man have sex with you and connect with your essence and life canal? Do you not know that your body is YOUR temple? Do you know that that temple too belongs to God?

Wombman… Wake up! Please! You are divine!

Read Ephesians 5 and see how God says a man should treat his wife. Specifically verses 25 on, but read the whole thing.

Now think about what you read for awhile and think about if you truly understand these things.

A woman’s body is sacred!
A woman, and her body should be honored and treasured as it is the source of life!
A woman’s mind holds the key to enlightenment!

So tell me girls and young women… Why do you not treat, respect, honor and revert yourself as such?

You should NEVER be ashamed of your body or sexuality. You should be very selective of who you share it with. (I.E. Your husband)

Your womb is sacred! A wombman takes in the essence of a man. His mental state, mannerisms, past partners. All of those things become part of you. You should NEVER let an unqualified man inside. A qualified man honors that and you! KNOW how special you as a woman are and KNOW how special a man that sees that is to you!

Every male does not deserve a Queen! And every male does not deserve access to a Queens temple!

Which is why God created sex for marriage. Covenant sex is an act of worship. Marriage is a ministry. Not a business deal or a convenience. Although it could be as well, but not foremost. A man commits to a woman to LOVE her as Christ did the church. He gives of himself in exchange for her doing the same.

Don’t let any male ever give you any less! They must be worthy!

LOVE yourself Goddess Queen! You are a masterpiece!
Go be GREAT!!!

Whoooooo arrrrrre youuuuuuuu?

If you have ever seen the movie “Alice in Wonderland”, you may remember the scene where the caterpillar asked Alice who she was. And her reply was that she did not exactly know as she had changed so much since morning.

This amuses me because I absolutely understand her plight.

Do you know who you are?

What is important to you? Where do you find your truth? What is your identity?

Many people find it in many different places or even in different things.
What exactly defines you?

Does status define you?
Your career, job, achievements, awards? Public recognition?

Are you defined by a cause you are committed to?
Recycling, gay rights, anti-abortion, service to others?

Not quite… ok.

How about power?
Your position, wealth, relationships?

Or possibly your possessions?
Your house you live in, the car you drive, the clothes you wear, your neighborhood?

Does who you have access to define you?
Your friendships with the wealthy business owners, athletes, or entertainers?

Does your symbolic capital define you?
Your number of Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram followers?

The pursuit or enjoyment of these things is not a bad thing at all. But… if you lost them. What else would you lose? Would you lose yourself?

So I will once again pose my question… Who are you?

My personal story…
I’ve had status. Several great careers, jobs, experience, achievements, awards and public recognition.
I’ve been for several causes… I have a huge heart for people and especially children, saving the planet, rights for all, pro-life, serving those less fortunate.
I’ve had power… high influential positions, wealth, relationships.
I’ve had possessions… Beautiful dream condo, nice house, nice cars, nice clothes, lived in wealthy neighborhoods.
I’ve had access to great people with achievements and wealth and talent and influence.
I’ve had symbolic capital with influence.

Some things I was able to sustain, some things I lost. And in the end do you know what?
While being grateful for the experiences, none of that truly made me happy.

So who am I?
I would say that I am first a child of God. I am the belief in my truth.

I am not my personal agendas or possessions.
The void in my heart was only filled when I learned of God and what he did for me and what his son did and I followed my personal journey to cultivate a relationship with him.

What I hold most dear are my personal relationships. So I would say that I am… a mother, a daughter, a sister, a cousin, an auntie, a friend.
I can be labeled as many things.
But truly, simply… I AM my heart. That is my best answer.



Normally the voice we grow with in our head is from our parents or parental figures. If these people were loving and nurturing you have a kind loving voice that guides you as you grow. But let’s say these people were negative. Or toxic even. They were critical or judgmental or unkind. They undermined you or made you feel bad about yourself or as though you were not enough or worthless. That is the voice you grow with.

A person that grew with the loving voice, they are more predisposed to also be a loving person. Now a person that grew with the negative voice, they are more predisposed to be negative and hurtful not only to themselves, but also to others. This often leads to people being hateful or heartless, people getting in trouble all the time- either fighting or with the law also, and even leads to mental and emotional health issues and disorders.

But it does not have to be that way at all.

There is a man who is almighty and the King of Kings. He is our Heavenly Father. And he LOVEs you. Unconditionally. He wants to have a relationship with you and make you to feel peaceful, loved, supported, understood, appreciated and accepted. No matter what you have dealt with in your life. He wants you to know your worth and who you really are in him. To know whose you are. A relationship with him will renew your mind and clear away the bad and replace it with good.

He sent his only son here to die for you so that you could become as his son or daughter.

This day is so special because it is the day that we celebrate his son, Jesus Christ. The prince of peace.

If you give God your mind and heart and body and soul, believe in him and confess this, and attempt to live with the character of his son, your life will be changed and turned into the AMAZING life it should be. As his want for you has always been for you to have the GREAT life he planned for you.

I am honored to celebrate my savior on this day!


Merry CHRISTmas!


When I was young I used to hate change!
It would absolutely freak me out!
I wouldn’t know what to expect or how to prepare! I would spend so much time and energy resisting the change and fighting against the current.
Talk about stress!!!

Then after years of things changing I realized… Hmm… There’s a pattern here!
And… It’s actually NOT so bad!


See when I was young I did not understand that to change meant growth. That change and growth meant new beginnings and new opportunities. That new beginnings and new opportunities meant something BETTER was coming into my life!  That there was a current and flow to life and it was much easier to go with it and ride the wave then attempt to fight it.

I’ve told you guys before… THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FEAR!

That feeling you feel when you are scared or anxious is leading you to an experience you need!

Now danger is real! VERY real! But it is not the same type of feeling.

Don’t be afraid of experiences you need and new things!

A oak tree seed did not start out as a 50 foot oak tree! You think it was afraid of heights? Maybe… You think it had to grow ANYWAYS? ABSOLUTELY!

Susan Jeffers has a quote, and a book that states that courageous people feel the fear… And do it ANYWAYS!

Go be GREAT!!!!